I had a Houston client today talking about his parenting abilities. "When you break it down", he told me, "I am just trying to not f*** up my kids." I appreciate his honesty so much. I think good parents often worry about whether their choices will help or wound their children. My precious six-year-old walked into my room first thing this morning, looked straight at me and asked me if she was skinny. I faltered for a second- taken aback by her question.
As a therapist who works with people who struggle with body image and self-identity, I am very sensitive about this topic. I try not to label my children with terms like "skinny" or "chubby" or say anything that will give them a stigma about their bodies. My hope for my kids would be that they would appreciate and be thankful for the unique qualities in the bodies they have been given.
Parents are not solely responsible for how kids feel about their bodies, but we do have a big influence. The good news is, there are things we can do to help kids boost their body image. The following tips from WebMD might be helpful starting points as you think about how to help the kids in your life.
Help children understand that there is not one "ideal" body shape
Watch what you say about your own bodies and the comments they make about other people's bodies
Avoiding stereotypes, prejudices, and words like ugly and fat
Helping children focus on their abilities and personalities rather than their physical appearance
Promote physical activity and exercise. Girls who play sports tend to have higher levels of self-esteem and healthier body images. "Be fit, not necessarily thin, and you will be healthy for life," is an excellent motto.
Discourage children from weighing themselves too often
Your kids are listening, and they want to know that you love and accept them, whatever their body type or weight may be.
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We hope you find these resources helpful! If you are struggling with loneliness, conflict, or anxiety, speaking to a professional counselor in Houston can help.
Contact us at Wilson Counseling to find out more about our services or to schedule an appointment. You can find out more about Parenting Counseling here. You don't have to go through this alone. We are in this together.
The advice in this blog is not a substitute for professional counseling.