Most people wait till things are really bad to start couples counseling.
By the time I get the phone call to schedule couples counseling, people can feel hopeless and desperate. Most couples wait too long and sadly that means it can be tougher to get things back on track. There are those relationships where people yell and slam doors and others where they quietly grow apart or grow bored till there is nothing left. The one thing they have in common is the depth of the disruption to people’s lives. It’s hard to be at peace when one of the most important relationships in your life is broken.
Chances are, if you are reading this, you would benefit from couples counseling.
Chances are, most couples would benefit from couples counseling. There is a reason why almost half of the marriages in this country end in divorce. If relationships were easy, we would stay together longer and be happier. I had a single person ask me one time why people say that “marriage is hard?” It’s a great question, but it’s honestly hard to answer succinctly. How would you answer that question?
Why do people fight?
People are complicated, we’re sometimes selfish, we have been wounded and hurt, and ultimately we are just ill-equipped to be good partners. We spend most of our lives training for our jobs, but very little time training to be good partners. If we manage to learn to be good in relationships, it is often by accident. Maybe we had good role models in our lives; maybe we had parents who taught us to communicate or friends who loved us unconditionally. Maybe you were part of a team that taught you how to have conflict and still be friends. If so, count yourself lucky. But there were surely gaps in your relationship training, and so you and your partner fight. The fights become more and more regular, and the problems never get resolved. If that sounds familiar, consider calling a couples counselor.
You may need couples counseling if…
You fight all the time
You nitpick each other’s flaws
You never seem to resolve problems
Sex has become dull or non-existent
There has been a physical or emotional affair
Trust has been broken
You differ about how to spend money
You differ about how to raise your children
You feel unloved by your partner
You have stopped talking to your partner
You feel unsafe in your relationship
One or both of you are thinking about breaking up
You cannot seem to communicate
Some people avoid calling a couples counselor because they think there is a stigma to counseling, or they hope they can resolve things on their own. I would encourage you to think of your couples counselor more like a trainer or life coach who can help you have the tools you need to resolve problems in your relationship. Think of it more like hiring a trainer to help you get in shape. Couples counselors have specialized training to help you and your partner resolve problems that you have been unable to resolve on your own.
If you are ready to start making changes in your relationship, please call one of our Houston couples counselors for a free phone consultation to see how we can help you. You can reach us by phone at 713-565-0922 or online at https://www.wilsoncounseling.org/contact-a-therapist.
We hope you find these resources helpful! If you are struggling with relationships, loneliness, conflict, or anxiety, speaking to a professional counselor in Houston can help.
Contact us at Wilson Counseling to find out more about our services or to schedule an appointment. You can find out more about couples counseling here. You don't have to go through this alone. We are in this together.
The advice in this blog is not a substitute for professional counseling.