Effects of a Highly Critical Parent
Research has shown that individuals who grew up with highly critical parents are at an increased risk of developing mental health disorders, including anxiety and depression. This is because constant criticism and negativity can lead to feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and a lack of control over one's life. It's like having a constant rain cloud over our heads that never goes away. Who wouldn’t be depressed dealing with that day in and day out? In fact, for some people having a critical parent can be traumatizing.
ways in which a highly critical parent can negatively impact you.
Difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships in adulthood:
Highly critical parents can impact our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships in adulthood. This is because we may struggle to trust others and open up emotionally, out of fear of being criticized or rejected.
It's like building a brick wall around ourselves to protect us from getting hurt. You may think you are keeping the heartache out, but you are also keeping the joy, connection, companionship, and intimacy out. Relationships always involve risk. If you are not willing to take those risks, it’s hard to have close and healthy relationships with anyone.
Inability to set healthy boundaries:
Growing up with highly critical parents can also lead to an inability to set healthy boundaries. This is because we may not have learned how to assert ourselves and communicate our needs effectively. It's like having a "kick me" sign on our back that we can't seem to take off. Working with a therapist you can learn to set boundaries. These boundaries will keep you from getting burned out and keep you from growing so resentful in relationships.
Persistent feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt:
One of the most challenging long-term effects of highly critical parents is persistent feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Even when we accomplish something or receive praise, we may still feel like we're not good enough. It's like having a set of broken glasses that we can't seem to fix. The lens you see the world with won’t allow you to take in the good qualities about yourself. It filters out the good parts and magnifies the qualities you don’t like about yourself. Talking to a caring Houston, TX therapist can help you learn to build up your self-esteem.
Increased risk of substance abuse and other harmful coping mechanisms:
Finally, growing up with highly critical parents can also increase the risk of substance abuse and other harmful coping mechanisms. This is because we may turn to drugs, alcohol, or other behaviors to numb our feelings of pain and inadequacy. It's like using a Band-Aid to cover up a deep wound that needs stitches. You never get to the work of healing if you just numb out. You just keep repeating the same unhealthy patterns.
Coping strategies for children of highly critical parents
What can you do to cope with highly critical parents? You don’t stop caring about your parent’s opinions just because you are a teenager or an adult. This stuff sticks with you throughout your life. You can’t change your parents, but you do have control over yourself. Here are some ways you can deal with HCPs.
Seeking therapy and support:
One of the most effective coping strategies for children of highly critical parents is seeking therapy. Talking to a caring therapist in Houston, TX. can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to process and work through the emotional wounds caused by critical parents. It's like having a trusted ally who can help you navigate the difficult terrain of your emotional landscape. You can also learn to talk back to the critical voice in your head that you may have internalized from childhood. This will help you feel more confident and less depressed or anxious.
Setting and enforcing healthy boundaries:
Setting and enforcing healthy boundaries is another important coping strategy for children of highly critical parents. This means learning to say "no" when we need to and establishing clear boundaries with our parents and others in our lives. It's like building a fence around our emotional garden to keep out unwanted pests. Your parents may push back on your boundaries, so be prepared to have to repeat them. You can read some tips for setting boundaries in this blog post entitled “Setting boundaries with Family.”
Learning self-compassion and self-care:
Another effective coping strategy is learning self-compassion and self-care. This means treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, rather than criticism and judgment. It's like being our own best friend and permitting ourselves to take care of our needs, even if it means saying "no" to others. It’s important to advocate and fight for the time you need to take care of yourself. If you don’t, life will always take over and you will be overwhelmed. Be kind to yourself if you are struggling. You are trying and life is hard. To learn to be more compassionate, check out the video below entitled “Self-compassion and the Power of Kindness.”
Building a support network of friends and loved ones:
Building a support network of friends and loved ones can also be a powerful coping strategy for children of highly critical parents. This means surrounding ourselves with people who support and encourage us, and who can offer a different perspective and a shoulder to lean on when we need it. It's like having a safety net to catch us when we fall.
Learning to identify and challenge negative self-talk and limiting beliefs:
Finally, learning to identify and challenge negative self-talk and limiting beliefs is an important coping strategy. This means recognizing when our inner critic is taking over and replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmations and realistic self-talk. It's like retraining our brain to think differently, like replacing an old cassette tape with a new, more positive one.
GET HELP FROM SKILLED THERAPISTS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH A HIGHLY CRITICAL PARENT. TALKING TO A CARING HOUSTON TX THERAPIST CAN HELP YOU GAIN INSIGHT AND CHANGE ANY NEGATIVE PATTERNS YOU HAVE.
If you feel like having to deal with critical parents are emotionally draining, Wilson Counseling can help! Our Texas parenting counselors can guide you to realize the baggage that you unconsciously brought from your own critical upbringing. Take these steps to get support and learn more about parenting.
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In addition to parenting and teen counseling, we have other mental health services that we offer at our Houston, TX counseling office. Our services are available for adults, children, and teens. For individuals, we offer Anxiety Treatment, Couples and Marriage Therapy, Divorce Counseling, Eating Disorder Therapy, School and College Counseling, Autism Therapy, Perinatal and Postpartum Treatment, and Infertility Counseling. As well as Trauma Therapy, PTSD Treatment, EMDR Therapy, and LGBTQ+ Counseling. Our caring therapists also offer Family Therapy, Career Counseling, and LPC Supervision. All of these services are also available through Online Counseling throughout Texas.
If you’re ready to get started, please contact Wilson Counseling today. Together we can get you to a better place and help you deal with your critical parents and prevent you from being one.