We will never experience intimacy in relationships if we blame others for our problems
"I don't share anything personal with my mom", my client told me. "My mom is one of those people who always blames other people for her problems.
When I was growing up she told me the reason we did not have enough money is because my dad had abandoned her by divorcing her. According to her, my dad was also the reason she did not have any friends, that she gained so much weight, that she had to live in a broken down house, that she was alone in life.
At first I thought my dad was a bad person, but I figured out after listening to my mom blame others for every problem in her life that she had a messed up perspective. I knew if I shared with her things I was struggling with, I knew that she would go negative, blame me or someone else, and the whole conversation would just depress me."
Blame is the discharging of discomfort and pain
Why do we blame others for our problems? According to Brene Brown, blame is the discharging of discomfort and pain. Instead of being vulnerable about our anger, frustration or other types of pain, it is easier to blame others. In this insightful and entertaining short from the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufactures, and Commerce, Brown talks about why we blame and why we should consider giving up this damaging behavior. Enjoy!
Do you often find yourself pointing fingers and placing blame on others when things go wrong in your life? It's time to break free from this destructive cycle and take control of your own happiness! Blaming others for our problems only perpetuates negativity and prevents us from finding real solutions. So, let's dive into some effective strategies to stop this unhealthy habit. First and foremost, practice self-reflection and take responsibility for your own actions. Recognize that you have the power to change your circumstances by making proactive choices. Additionally, cultivate empathy and understand that everyone makes mistakes. Instead of playing the blame game, focus on constructive communication and problem-solving. Moreover, shift your mindset to a growth-oriented perspective, embracing challenges as opportunities for personal growth. Lastly, surround yourself with positive influences and seek support when needed. By adopting these strategies, you'll break free from the blame trap and pave the way for personal empowerment and success. It's time to take charge of your life and leave blame behind!
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We hope you find these resources helpful! If you are struggling with loneliness, conflict, or anxiety, speaking to a professional counselor in Houston can help.
Contact us at Wilson Counseling to find out more about our services or to schedule an appointment. You can find out more about Teen Counseling here. You don't have to go through this alone. We are in this together.
The advice in this blog is not a substitute for professional counseling.