Guest blog post by Alexis Patel
Those with Autism really are not much different than we are, they only see the world and process things differently. Loving those with autism spectrum disorder gives us a new view of the world and a lot of the time, it’s beautiful and changes our perspectives.
There are best practices when it comes to supporting those with Autism and how to help Autistic folks thrive and find their place in the world. These include: doing your best to learn and understand and showing them love and interest in what they are interested in, keeping routines and schedules, saying what you mean, helping them recognize social cues and work on social skills, teaching them about Autism and their brain and that it’s okay to be different.
Everyone is different, some people receive a label and others don’t but we are all unique. That should be celebrated. It is important to note that Autism is not curable but it is adaptable and that’s what this post shows us as well.
1. Do your best to learn, show love & Take interest in Your autistic Loved One
Autism is a spectrum, there’s a wide variety of symptoms, levels of functioning, the way it presents itself in males vs. females, etc. Do your best to learn about Autism and realize it’s not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis and treatment. To help your loved one feel loved and seen, it is also helpful to learn about what they are interested in. Those that are on the spectrum typically have very specific interests, this will give you things to talk to them about, relate to, and so on. For example, if your loved one is very passionate about dinosaurs, learning 10 facts about dinosaurs and the various species of dinosaurs will mean the world to them. It gives you a connection to each other and shows that you relate and care about what they care about.
2. Keep routines and schedules
Those on the autism spectrum thrive with routine and knowing what to expect. Be sure to update the individual if a plan changes as soon as you know and explain what is happening. The more notice that is given, the better. I would also recommend visual schedules and a routine chart to help make sure they are completing expected tasks each day. A visual schedule may have different pictures of things they need to get done in a day (making their bed, brushing their teeth, breakfast, school, homework, picking up, etc). By creating a chart and laminating it, you can get a dry-erase board marker so your loved one can check off what they have finished. In one circumstance, it cut out a lot of pushback with a client I worked with because it removed the argument and they knew it had to get done because it was on their schedule.
3. Say what you mean clearly and literally
Those on the autism spectrum think very logically. Often they don’t understand sarcasm, jokes, subtle cues, etc. Saying what you mean when is key for those to understand and process what you are telling them to do, your opinion on something, etc. It may be easy for a neurotypical mind to decipher what is a joke and sarcasm but it is not as easy for those with autism. It can confuse or even cause one to be upset. It is key to be matter-of-fact or let them know you are joking or using sarcasm. For example, If you say something like “Tell me how you really feel,” in a sarcastic tone, they may take it literally and try to explain exactly how they are feeling. In general, it may be best to avoid metaphors or any flowery, symbolic language.
4. Help them recognize social cues & work on social skills
Socialization can be difficult. You must help work on social skills such as appropriate conversation topics when to say hello and goodbye, personal space, what a smile means, when to wave, and so on. These cues and skills do not come naturally and need to have attention focused on them. When social skills and cues are worked on, it makes socializing much easier. I had a client for whom every day we worked on social stories to help them have quiet hands and not hit their peers. It took modeling the behavior of having gentle hands (such as giving a handshake or high five) and reading the social stories over about a week to truly understand but the results helped the problematic behavior decrease.
5. Teach them about their brain & that it’s okay to be different
Be sure to reassure them that nothing is wrong with them, their brain just processes things differently. Teach them that all the parts of their brain are the same as everyone else's; they just see the world in more sound and color. Remind them that it is okay to be different and no one is “normal” anyway. This can look like reassuring them that they have a great idea, the way they view the world is amazing, and that you love the thing that makes them different with specific examples. You can say things like, “I love how much you know about dinosaurs or know everyone in the family’s birthdays.”
Autism is a wide spectrum, full of beautiful moments and difficult ones. Helping them be as successful and thrive as much as possible is so important to not only them but also to you as their caregiver, friend, etc.
If you would like to learn more about how to support your Autistic loved one, contact our caring Houston Autism therapists today.
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