*Updates Jaunary 2024
When doing personal counseling with one of my Houston clients, John (not his real name), came in and sheepishly told me "I did something I should not have done. I got on Facebook and I looked up pictures of my ex with his new partner." As you can imagine, these images were very painful. John spent the rest of the night wondering how his partner could move on so quickly. He went over all of the things he had done wrong in the relationship and berated himself for his flaws. Would he now be alone for the rest of his life with no hope for love or a family? This thought haunted him: he may never be happy.
Notice how you feel before & after getting on social media
We live in a very public society. People post everything on social media from what their relationship status is to pictures of what they are doing on a Friday night. It can be fun to get on a site like Facebook or Instagram and connect with people without making any real effort. Colorado University at Boulder did a study to research how much harder breakups are in the digital age. Spoiler alert - being connected with your ex and their social circle after a break up prolongs your ability to heal and move on.
When you feel lonely and vulnerable, as most people do after a break-up, social media seems like the quickest way to not feel so alone.
I can honestly say I have never had a client come in and tell me they were on social media after a breakup and it made them feel better about themselves. More often, John's story is common for people going through a difficult break-up. Getting on social media can be a desperate attempt to peek into the lives of an ex, but it is a link to a dead relationship. It is painful and ugly to peer in and see what is left of your relationship. It usually brings back all of the painful feelings and insecurities you are trying so hard to work through.
Consider taking a social media break
If you are going through a break-up, I would recommend you take a social media hiatus. Get off all social media for a couple of months. Instead, spend the time calling a friend, or meeting up with people who care about you. Real live human contact will take you forward in your search for peace in a way that social media rarely will.
Social media platforms have become integral parts of our lives, providing a window into the world of others. However, when going through a breakup, the constant exposure to your ex-partner's life through posts, updates, and photos can impede the healing process. Comparisons and feelings of inadequacy may arise, intensifying the emotional pain.
Tips for Managing Social Media During a Breakup:
Establish Boundaries:
Set clear boundaries regarding social media interactions with your ex-partner. Unfollow or mute their accounts to reduce exposure to their posts and updates.
Take a Break:
Consider taking a break from social media altogether, at least temporarily. This break can provide a respite from the emotional turmoil and allow you to focus on your well-being. You may also want to take a break from all contact with your ex for at least 21-45 days. During that time, you can work on yourself and decide what’s best for the future.
Curate Your Feed:
Curate your social media feed to include positive and uplifting content. Follow accounts that inspire you, share motivational quotes, and contribute to your emotional recovery.
Seek Support Offline:
Foster connections with friends, family, or support groups in the offline world. These personal connections offer genuine support during challenging times, complementing the virtual world of social media.
Practice Mindfulness:
Incorporate mindfulness practices into your routine. Whether through meditation, yoga, or other mindfulness exercises, these practices can help you stay present and centered amidst emotional turbulence.
Focus on Self-Care:
Prioritize self-care activities that nurture your emotional and physical well-being. Engage in activities you enjoy, pursue hobbies, and invest time in personal growth.
The Impact of Social Media on Healing:
While social media can present challenges during a breakup, it also offers opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Use this time to redefine your online presence, share positive experiences, and engage with content that aligns with your personal journey.
At Wilson Counseling, we recognize the unique challenges individuals face when navigating heartbreak in the age of social media. It's essential to be mindful of the impact these platforms can have on your emotional well-being and to take intentional steps toward healing. By setting boundaries, seeking offline support, and focusing on self-care, you can reclaim control over your emotional recovery and emerge stronger from the breakup.
Remember, healing is a gradual process, and seeking counseling from one of our caring Houston relationship therapists can provide valuable guidance on your journey toward emotional well-being. If you find yourself
If you are struggling and would like help, we have Houston, Texas Counselors who can meet with you. You can contact us 713 -565- 0922 or by email at contact@wilsoncounseling.org
This blog is not intended to substitute for professional counseling.
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