is lack of sex a reason to end a relationship?
The beginning of a new relationship can be very passionate. It’s easy to get excited, turned on, and to want to explore each other’s bodies and sexual fantasies together. However, when that passion fades over time, there is usually one partner who is unhappy about it. Most couples assume that if sex was a part of their relationship at the beginning, it will continue to be so. You didn’t get married thinking, “one day my partner won’t want to have sex with me.” There is an implicit agreement that sex will be part of your relationship. When that changes, it can feel like a betrayal.
When a couple stops being physically intimate, it can stir up a lot of questions: Does this mean something is wrong with us? Can our relationship survive without sex? Should we consider breaking up? Is it okay for my partner to stop having sex with me?
Our Houston Couples Therapists often hear from individuals and couples wondering if a lack of sex means the end of their relationship. The truth is more complicated than a simple yes or no. Let’s break it down.
How Important Is Sex in a Relationship?
Sex is often tied to feelings of closeness, passion, and connection. For many couples, a healthy sex life is a way of expressing love and maintaining intimacy. Research shows that regular intimacy can lower stress, improve communication, and deepen emotional bonds.
But the importance of sex varies from person to person. Some people place a high value on physical intimacy, while others may feel satisfied with emotional closeness, affection, or shared activities. The key is not whether sex is happening, but whether both partners feel fulfilled.
Reasons Couples May Stop Having Sex
A dry spell doesn’t automatically mean a relationship is doomed. Many factors can affect a couple’s sex life, including:
Stress and fatigue from work, parenting, or daily responsibilities
Medical issues such as hormonal changes, chronic illness, or medication side effects
Emotional disconnection, resentment, or unresolved conflicts
Mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, or past trauma
Different sexual drives or desires that haven’t been openly discussed
Women have some distinct reasons for a lack of sexual desire.
Understanding why the sexual connection has faded is the first step to figuring out what it means for the future.
When Lack of Sex Becomes a Problem
The absence of sex doesn’t automatically equal a failed relationship. Some couples are content with a low- or no-sex partnership. However, problems arise when one or both partners feel:
Rejected or unwanted
Lonely and disconnected
Frustrated by unmet needs
Afraid to bring up intimacy concerns
If sex (or lack thereof) is creating resentment, fueling fights, or making you question your worth in the relationship, it’s worth addressing directly. This article addresses what you can do when being in a sexless marriage makes you feel unwanted.
Can a Relationship Survive Without Sex?
Yes—if both people agree, it works for them. Many long-term couples shift their definition of intimacy to include affection, shared experiences, and emotional connection, even if sex is infrequent or absent.
The trouble begins when one partner wants intimacy, and the other doesn’t, and neither knows how to bridge the gap. Avoiding the topic only leads to deeper misunderstandings. This won’t get better on your own. I recommend scheduling an appointment with a trained Texas relationship therapist so you can start to change things in your relationship
If you are struggling with sex in your relationship, fantasizing and focusing on gratitudes about your partner can help. We also have a whole blog post about how to improve your sex life.
Should You Break Up Over Lack of Sex?
Breaking up is a deeply personal decision. Here are a few questions to reflect on before making that choice:
Have I openly shared my needs and feelings with my partner?
Are they willing to work with me to find solutions?
Is this issue temporary (stress, health, transition) or long-term?
Am I still emotionally fulfilled and connected in other ways?
Do I feel respected, heard, and valued in this relationship?
Sometimes, the lack of sex highlights bigger relationship issues like poor communication, lack of trust, or unresolved resentment. Other times, it’s simply about mismatched drives that require compromise.
When to Seek Counseling
If you and your partner are struggling with mismatched needs, couples counseling can help. At Wilson Counseling, we work with couples across Houston and Bellaire to rebuild connection and address intimacy challenges in a safe, supportive space.
Therapy can help you:
Explore the underlying causes of sexual disconnection
Improve communication about intimacy needs
Rebuild trust and emotional closeness
Decide together what a fulfilling relationship looks like
Final Thoughts
Lack of sex is not always a reason to break up—but ignoring it can become one. What matters most is whether both partners feel seen, loved, and valued. If intimacy struggles are causing tension or loneliness, counseling can provide the tools to either rekindle passion or redefine what closeness means for your relationship.
At Wilson Counseling, we’re here to help you navigate these sensitive conversations and find clarity about your relationship.
OTHER THERAPY SERVICES WE OFFER IN HOUSTON, TX
In addition to Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling, we have other mental health services that we offer at our Houston, TX counseling office. Our services are available for adults, children, and teens. For individuals we offer Anxiety Treatment, Eating Disorder Counseling, School and College Counseling, Autism Therapy, Perinatal and Postpartum Treatment and Infertility Counseling. As well as Trauma Therapy, PTSD Treatment, EMDR Therapy, and LGBTQ+ Counseling. Our caring therapists also offer Family Therapy, Parenting Counseling, Career Counseling, and LPC Supervision. All of these services are also available through Online Counseling throughout Texas.
If you're struggling with getting intimate, reach out to us today and take the first step toward hope and healing.