I get a lot of questions about parenting. One of the categories of questions I get is about how to help kids become healthy eaters and avoid disordered eating and poor body image. One of my most read blog posts is entitled "How to Not Screw Up Your Kid's Body Image." I also have another more recent post entitled "Children and Eating - Developing Non-Disordered Eating Habits" and one entitled "How to Not Screw Up Your Kid's Body Image - Developing Healthy Eating Habits in Children."

You are only as happy as your saddest child

There is an expression, "You are only as happy as your saddest child." Oh how true that is. As parents, our lot in life is intrinsically tied to our children, even when they become adults.

As an eating disorder therapist, I get a lot of questions from parents about how to feed children and how to prevent eating disorders. A great resource for answering some of these questions is the Ellyn Satyr Institute. Ellyn Satyr is a Dietitian and Family Therapist and is recognized as a leading expert when it comes to issues related to eating and food.

For the parents of my teenage clients, I think understanding their kid must feel like trying to read the Rosetta Stone without the knowledge of Greek, Demotic or Hieroglyphics, i.e. frustrating, mysterious and sometimes downright impossible.

Sitting across from me on the sofa with her adolescent daughter, Lydia was tearful and a little overwhelmed. I had not planned to meet with them that day, but I had a cancellation and was able to fit them in. Lydia's daughter Sandy had been in treatment with me for the past few months for an eating disorder. Though she had made great strides, Sandy continued to struggle with stuffing her emotions down with food. Sandy was working out the trauma she had experienced as a victim of childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a family member. Sometimes Sandy acted out, sometimes she numbed out. For her, going numb was easier than letting the pain of her experience live alert inside her.

I am so impressed by the love and devotion of parents who bring their children into my office to help them deal with their eating disorder struggles. It is incredibly painful to watch your child suffer, but these parents try every day to understand their kids, to support them, and to walk with them through the emotional roller coaster of their disorder. There is hope for change for these children, but my hope would be that parents never have to walk down this road in the first place.

I had a Houston client today talking about his parenting abilities. "When you break it down", he told me, "I am just trying to not f*** up my kids." I appreciate his honesty so much. I think good parents often worry about whether their choices will help or wound their children. My precious six-year-old walked into my room first thing this morning, looked straight at me and asked me if she was skinny. I faltered for a second- taken aback by her question.